just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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