Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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