I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
