I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
