i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
