Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
