do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
ttyl tear gas
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
