nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
