no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
