I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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