Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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