I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
