duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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