so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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