don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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