Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
