id be glad to
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
