i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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