Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
