They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can feel your judgement through the phone
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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