my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
