Tell her she can't have a vagina
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
