I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
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