Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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