she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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