Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
