is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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