I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
