Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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