How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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