Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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