Swine flu. Run for my life!
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
