i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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