So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
