And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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