Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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