Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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