Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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