SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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