Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
