You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
