there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
