It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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