Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
