I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
