I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
