So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
