This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
