I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if i can run in heels then i can drive
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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