There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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