You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize