Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
