Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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