um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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