Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
