there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
