she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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