sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Im part way to drunk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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