Where is the hickey?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
