can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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