I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
