you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
