On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
