I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
