i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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