Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
